Journey 2 Zendipity

I am in a shitty shit shit shit fucking mood today!

Even the wind about to get bitched at this morning lol like make yo your mind, are you hot or cold. Pick a struggle so I can pick my jacket!

I feel like a walking hazard to the world today. Good lord almighty, please let bedtime come soon.

Truthfully, I have no idea why I’m in such a shit mood. I don’t think I feel too well and that never helps but man, I can’t even stand myself right now.

I don’t want to work, I don’t want to move from this rocking chair. I don’t want to be in this rocking chair. I don’t wanna talk. I don’t wanna write but I don’t want to stop writing lol. It be like that though.

We all have these days. Now, I know realistically I could sit on my mat and meditate, read for a bit and get myself out of this funk but it’s one of those funks that I feel like stewing in. Not because I want to be in a shit mood but because I’m not in the mood to do shit about it haha does that make sense?

I feel like that applies often, to all of us.

We see shit isn’t working well or that we aren’t happy with a situation but we do very little to make the changes required to correct it. Our health isn’t the best but we don’t eat as healthy as should or work out. In opposite spectrum our mental health isn’t great but we don’t contact therapists or we hide it in overly activeness and or tv brainwash. Relationships aren’t working and we are too prideful to make a change or walk away because “we love them”. We stay in crappy jobs because we need stability and don’t like change or worried about finances if we do change. We are not true to ourselves and our believes because we want to keep certain friends and don’t act in alignment with who we want to be while around them. The list goes on.

Ain’t that some shit? We have the power to change our lives, most of the time, yet we rather remain where we are and in how we feel than to make the hard moves that could change things. Lol boy, are we some interesting creatures.

We judge ourselves against unrealistic expectations or others we assume they have it together but the reality is, we are who we are for a reason. For a purpose.

Now, if you’re a dick and blame it on your past.. that’s a different story. That’s someone who wants to be that way and uses a crutch to get the sympathy for their shit behaviors. Get over yourselves and fix your shit sir (or ma’am). A lot of people have traumatic shit happen, a lot have a past that could create a monster but a lot have decided to choose kindness and compassion. A lot have rises above and changed their ways BECAUSE of their past and despite it too. If you’re being a dick, I’m sorry but that’s a choice. A comfortable choice and you suck for that. Get it to-fucking-gether cause no one has time for that. People get tired of that. I speak from experience. From both ends of that scenario.

The hardest part for me on a day like today is pushing through the comfort of the shit mood to get to the comfort of the peaceful mood. All I want to do is sleep, eat, binge watch tv or go many rounds with a punching bag but what I need is to meditate and release. Give myself a break, choose a different outcome.

We all have choices that can change our lives. Some of the choices aren’t obvious and we feel there is no choice but I have come to learn that when choices aren’t presented, we still have the opportunity. We just have to create them. We have to CHOOSE to leave our shitty shit shit comfort zones and move into the zone we need to be.

Change doesn’t happen in the comfort zone, change happens in the discomfort.

So on that enlightening note, I realize what I need to do, I need to go yell at this loud duck outside my window.

Lol jk- I’m taking my ass to my mat and actively going to choose to change the way the rest of my day goes. even if the crap mold remains, it’ll be a level 6 vs a 12 where I’m at now.

I hope you all have an amazing day and make a choice that changes your day for the positive or even bigger, your future.

Sending y’all so much love ❤️ don’t hurt a duck today, choose the mat. 😊