Journey 2 Zendipity

Woke up in better spirits today. Somehow today I just feel the Divine profoundly in the little things.

Since I began this journey of healing, self-discovery and relationship with the Divine, I’ve learned to pay attention in a way I hadn’t before. To the signs, my intuition, the voice(s) in my head (not the crazy ones, not always at least lol). I’ve learned to ask and be patient to receive answers.

I am a person who believes everything happens for a reason. I am a person who believes in signs and ask for them regularly. Sometimes verbally, other times my heart asks for it without me having to say a word.

So, the other day one of the funniest things happen which I understood and recognized as a sign immediately but was absolutely hilarious!

You see, yesterday marked 3 years I’ve been single and by single I mean single-single lol.

I went on semi-dates a couple years ago but not really. Hard to explain. I haven’t giving much thought or room for anyone to enter my life in a romantic way. Then I had my heart busted open by someone I care, in a good way, and I felt it was time.

So on Tuesday, I finally decided I was ready to give dating a shot. Took me a bit, and I have been out with someone recently on an accidental date but I finally made the decision that I was going to consciously make the move into the dating world.

Now, I work virtually and I don’t get out very often and In my heart, I know my person and I will meet in real life by Gods grace. I know this, I have requested this, I have no doubt about this. Not one bit. However, I want to experience shitty and good dates before then.

One of the reasons being that I believe my healing can’t continue much further in a certain way, until I have to test out my intuition, my trusting, my vulnerability. All that fun stuff I’ve worked on in my “demo site/sandbox” internally and with non-romantic relationships, I now have to put into work on the “production site” lol in romantic relationships.

So I decided to try online dating. Which I am not a fan of, at all, but was so ready to make that move forward!

Backstory, I created 2 dating profiles prior to this but deleted before I even hit submit lol.

So, I download the app. I feel confident and ready. I complete some of the profile “about me” and what I am looking for. I add my photo and now it’s live. I see someone pop up and before I look at their profile I notice that at the top, above their picture, it says “deleted user”.

I knew that user name was showing for me but assumed it was cause I may have used the app yearssss ago and deleted it. I thought nothing of it. I click to refresh my page and I get a pop up.

“The profile ::my profile name here:: has been deleted due to violations of terms …. “ you get the point.

Lol WTF!

I hadn’t even finished filling out my questions, I only had 1 picture, didn’t even get to click search and my account was deleted?! There was/is no absolute reason for the deletion.

So I tried to sign back in with email, nope. Tried to get online, nope. Tried clicking forgot pw, nope.

My freaking profile was deleted before I even finished. 😂

Divine! I heard you loud and clearrrr!!

I laughed so damn hard.

Now part of me believes I knew immediately why the Divine blocked that shit, the other part of me is fighting it but non-the-less, HEARD!

Usually the Divine sends me subtle signs, where I usually respond with “please provide me a clarification or confirmation sign” and I usually request this about 3-5 times because well, I’m stubborn af. You already know how that goes, but I always get my other subtle signs.

This sign though!!! I could literally see a MASSIVE stop sign in bright red when that pop up showed up.

Since that moment, I started looking deeper within again. Again, I think I know what it is about, but I need my 12 confirmations.

I realize yesterday that I’m being shown so much more than I’ve been paying attention to these last two weeks. Watching someone I care go through a heart break so similar to mine. Watching another friend go through emotional turmoil. Yet another in their Gods waiting room phase. I’m being shown something.

I am ready to move forward, the Divine has my back with this but I have to wait a bit longer because what’s in store for me, requires patience. It requires me to continue dating me, learning about me, building my confidence, building my strength. I see it, I feel it, I know it.

Today I feel so blessed and honored to have the relationship that I do in my spiritual world. It’s a beautiful feeling and possibly the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I feel so blessed to know I am being protected, watched over, guided, loved and challenged to continue growing.

Yesterday was rough but my new page, is already so beautiful.

Maybe this June will be MY favorite June so far.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

::inhale love, exhale fears::