So much has changed in such a little time but at the same time nothing has changed. Know what I mean?
In this last year, I’ve made friends, lost friends, started a new career, had my best friend move away, chopped off my hair (yes, this makes it into the big things category), rekindled some friendships, lost myself, found myself again, and in all of those changes nothing felt like it had actually changed anything until I look back and realize nothing is the same.
I feel like I’m in God’s waiting room, just waiting until the next big thing but some days, like today, I realize that my life hasn’t been made up of big changes but of small little things that group together and cause this massive change. I usually don’t notice it right away either. It’s usually in times of reflection and looking back that I notice. It was the little changes all along that made the biggest difference over time.
It’s crazy!
Right now, at this moment, I am not anywhere near the woman I used to be. Nor am I the woman I am intended to be or going to be a year from now. I am the youngest I will ever be again and the oldest I’ve ever been. I am the dumbest I’ll ever be (God willing LOL) and the smartest I’ve ever been and all I am is because of those small little things that created small changes that I didn’t once notice and snowballed into a huge change.
Of course, big things occur and change the dynamic of life, those are the obvious ones. This is focused purely on the things we don’t recognize in the moment.
The days seem slow but the years are flying. My son seems so big but he’s so tiny.
It’s crazy to think about it but..
Life will never be again what it is today and it’s not often the big big things that make those shifts.
It’s just one minute and one day at a time.
My best friend moved away a month ago and it wasn’t a change in my life, sort of, but her moving away did impact my life and forced me to make little changes. Like we don’t talk 24 hours a day like we use to, and we go a day or two without speaking now. Her life is so much more different, and in those 4 weeks that things were shifting for her, the little changes had begun in my life.
I started replying to others more, I stopped waiting for Saturdays when I would finally see another adult and started making more effort to join the world, I started buying more tickets to events for 1 and I started analyzing my life every single day.
That little change turned into this ginormous fire that now has me anxious to bust out of God’s waiting room and into my new chapter.
My son, my career, my friendships… nothing has changed but everything has changed.
I guess what I’m saying is, take a moment to appreciate this moment. A moment to look up from your phone and simply appreciate where you are in life and who you are because even if you can’t see it now, everything changes. Some good, some bad, some in between but either way it’s a change, and little by little those little changes are what makeup life.
After all, isn’t that the point of life?
Just take a moment, this moment. Take a deep breathe, say a little thanks ou, allow a bit of excitement to surge through your body and go into the next moment in full appreciation that it is the last time you will experience that moment in the very same way.
Maybe just for today, we allow ourself to be excited about the small things too.
Sending you all so much love and strength throughout your little changes. I am happy you are here and I am rooting for you.
With love,
-K
Journey 2 Zendipity 
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