Journey 2 Zendipity

Growing older has been very… interesting.

My spirit and soul feel younger than ever. I really truly feel like I’m in my 20’s. I’m feeling adventurous, curious, excited about life, ready for a new chapters, eager to be single and mingle, loving my body (usually), and excited to wake up most days. However, my body is telling me to chill.

The last year or so I’ve been having the weirdest body moments. Things that never bothered me physically or affected me, are affecting me. My energy level is questionable too.

It’s like I’m FEELING internally younger than ever and my body is reminding my constantly that I am no spring chicken. WTF lol

I feel more courage now than when I was younger but constantly my body is kicking my ass. Primarily my eye (oh and my stomach.. can’t forget my stomach LOL).

I’ll be 38 when my son is 18. I feel like I’ve won the lottery of parenthood. I have an amazing son, an incredible best friend and have accomplished my career goals. Though I’m not where I want to be, I am content and excited to get to the part of my life where I have so many adventures and create a life that’s worth sharing with my grand babies one day.

I want to jump out of a plane, even if it scares the shit out of me. I want to Live, Pray, Love (Yes, I’m aware it’s Eat but like I mentioned my stomach is very much out of it’s 20’s lol). I want to rise in love with someone. I want to skinny-dip under a full moon. I want to dance the night away again. I want to make out with someone like I’m a teenager. I want to travel and be of service. I want to buy a home and have something I can leave my son. I want to build something with my hands. I want to watch a sunrise from the Grand Canyon. I want to cuddle with a baby tiger. I mean seriously, I want to do it all and so many things that I don’t even know are options yet.

I know I can’t wait for the right day; my body reminds me of this daily, but I feel like I can’t. I am a single mom with no support. I have to live a life that can ensure I make it home for my kid daily. I have to work more than play to make sure he always had a roof over his head and food on the table. Plus, sleeping in my car now would definitely mean I wake up sore. Shoot, I wake up sore now from not sleeping with the right pillow.

So what do you do when your heart and soul feel younger than ever but your responsibilities and body don’t?