Journey 2 Zendipity

Today I lost my 4 legged best friend. My very best friend for the last 12 years. My pitbull in a tiny body. My tail lol he followed me absolutely everywhere.

I don’t think I’ll ever get out of my head the image of his face and the moment it clicked. I’ve lost people, I’ve even lost fur babies but this one was different and my heart hurts so damn bad. We always knew I’d ugly cry when it was time to say goodbye to my baby but this was even uglier than the ugliest I imagined. Unexpected and deep.

So I’m writing, because I’m sitting outside, where I always hang out with him and where he’d be sitting right on my feet with but tonight there’s nothing but space there. The space being empty is heart breaking. Even since he stopped being able to walk he’d drag himself around to be with me. Fuck, my heart.

To top it off, it’s our other fur babies birthday and she’s been sad all day. She’s been laying down all day. I know we will get through this but this was a hard loss for all of us.

—-

The loss of a loved furbaby is a loss that’s harder to explain than the loss of a loved human. Not necessarily greater, just different. They do no wrong.

I was his human, I was his best friend, his mom, his protector, his nurse, his friend… I was his world. He protected me, he loved me, he was loyal to me, he loved me when I was not lovable, he loved me with no expectations and he loved me unconditionally. He was just a small version of God in dog form. Full of love, full of forgiveness, full of joy.

I was so incredibly blessed to have spent 12 years with him. I was so incredibly blessed. He will forever be a part of my heart.

Tonight I mourn heavily the loss of my closest and longest companion, every day for all these years.. my best friend. The one that has truly stuck through thick and thin with me, day in and day out.

Oh my baby, my heart hurts. I miss you so much already. Home just isn’t home without you. I love you so much.

RIP Sparks 🖤🤍