Journey 2 Zendipity

I finally understand the seasons of solitude, I’m not always a fan, but I finally understand it.
The seasons of solitude are not just any other period of solitude. It’s not just a weekend that no one invited me out, it’s a stretch of time where I go days and weeks without having real conversations.
It’s a period of time where God removes people from my life, usually it’s harsh ways because I was stubborn, and forces me to sit and reflect.
Season of solitude can feel like being stranded on a deserted island chillin with only Wilson and learning to survive without any prior experience of that kind of environment. Shout out to Tom Hanks in Cast Away… 23 years and still going strong in my mind – absolutely INCREDIBLE.

This season of solitude, just like every other one, feels like a new island that I have to learn how to survive on all over again. Problem is that I’m stubborn, to the point where I annoy myself with my stubbornness! LOL Am I alone in this kind of stubbornness?
I know that during this time I need to find time to just be in nature and be silent, I need to spend more time in the gym, I have to write and just wrap myself in the things that bring me closer to my center but I just keep pushing it off. Tomorrow I’ll wake up early again, I’ll go to the park this weekend if the weather permits, I can spend money on Taco Bell but not on that new event that I really wanted to try that will inspire me…:: eye roll:: I have so many excuses it’s ridiculous. Truth is, I want what I want and I want it now. What I want is to NOT be in solitude. YET I really don’t know WHAT I want so it’s a vicious circle and boom.. that’s exactly why I need to be in solitude.

When my fur baby passed away a couple of weeks ago, my world started on this insane crap journey. A couple weeks before that really but that day he passed.. oof.
Our other fur baby super depressed then sick, work has been off, friendships have been IDK, family members having THE AUDACITY (IYKYK) , finances have been a mess, my car tires whacked, household cold passed back and forth, I got terrifyingly followed by a guy and had to get help, hellll I even fell down the stairs! It’s been non-stop. It was like Sparky dying set off this insane domino affect. All the dominoes were barely holding up, they were barely standing and sparky passed and they all came tumbling down.

I’m in my season of solitude and I finally understand why I’m on this island, this time.
It’s time to figure out my long term desires, what my bullseye is.
It’s time to reprioritize, rebudget, readjust, refocus.. it’s time to figure out what is next because truthfully, I’m tired of living a life that I don’t fully love.

So I’m in my season of solitude and the blog is my admission, my first step into acceptance and step baby step to release resistance. It’s time.
A year from now, I won’t recognize my life..

If you’re in your season of solitude, just now you are not alone. Maybe physically but emotionally, mentally and spriritually.. you are not alone and you are loved.

Cheers to my fellow Cast Aways. I’ll see y’all on the other side.
With Love,
-K & Wilson