Journey 2 Zendipity

I realized today randomly that I’ve always associated adults with boring.

Has that happened to you? I’m sitting here questioning my “adulthood” because I have more of a free spirit than most adults that I know. I can take things serious, in fact, I think I take way too much serious. But if I compare it to the adults that I knew in my life growing up, I’m a big ass child.

Today I spent half of the day, laughing with a coworker while working. When I finish, I questioned if I got anything completed during that time, I really did but for some reason it felt like I did something illegal. Having fun while doing something that should be serious! How dare I?! Lol. Now I’m driving home and I am realizing that I feel guilty for having a fun time at work. Even though shit got done, I feel bad for it. Now, I usually have a decent time, I refuse to hate the life I live, but today was extra hilarious. Joe, for being cracked, sometime was wasted, but a lot got done nonetheless.

And when I got in the car, I was smiling still from some of the funnier parts of today and I call myself childish. Not in a such a bad way more like holy crap I’m so immature. I mean, OK, maybe a little immature on certain subjects, but it just depends on who I’m having a conversation with.

The point is, it wasn’t until this very moment that I realize the reason I feel like I’m not a good enough adult is because I’ve always associated adult team with being super mature and bored. What a shame!

I guess when I think back to all of the adults that I’ve had in my life, the only one that even seems a little playful, was only playful when they were shitfaced drunk. So I barely even counted them as an adult, in my defense they rarely were. Every other adult was just so serious, like all the time. I would have never caught another adult acting like I do. Crack, very bad, but still jokes, dressing, funny, sometimes, dancing down the hallways, just having moments where I feel like a child. Sometimes even, it’s the very first time I ever felt like a child. I can’t really explain that anymore than that, I feel more childlike now than I did, when I was a child. I fucking love it!

So now I’m wondering, what do you associate adult head to? When you think of an adult, what do you think about? Not just who, but what? What character traits do you associate with being a good adult? Or a mature adult? Or The adult that you would go to for this reason. I’m interested to learn what adult means to different people.

Is being serious, all the time, or boring, not enjoying life, not childlike is what being an adult is. I’m not sure I will ever make it to doll head despite my age nor do I want to tell or show my sign that growing old meansthese growing up. I love the days that I feel like a big kid. I love the moments where I feel wholesome joy like a child. Even if I’m not not doing an exact child thing, but simply getting the emotions from it. I love it, I love it so much.

I really hope to hear from you, but if I don’t, I want you to know that today I wish you childlike joy. Enjoy the moment, they are counted.

Sending y’all love, – K

P.s audio to text, I apologize for the mess.