Journey 2 Zendipity

The last 24 hours have been so interesting. Little reminders everywhere.

It started yesterday, during an office meeting. I overshared, as I tend to do at times, while we talked about the topic of gratitude. I mentioned the importance of remaining grateful for even the little things like underwear, razors and toothpaste. I mean, these are things we take for granted and at some points in my life, I really truly never had. I mean for heavens sake, I lived in a place that was so poor we had a whole on the floor, animals in and out of my home. Talk about dirt poor and it still could have been worse.

Fast forward and I went to a Lifegroup meeting with other ladies from a church I’m testing out and we got a little personal with stuff. After the group, a group meet I was trying to talk myself out of, I sat with on of the ladies for an hour just sharing my testimony. We talked about bearing fruit and getting rooted, how it looks like from different perspectives. I shared with her about how I see life and what rooted means to me. I talked about my struggle in this journey and what my intentions are. How I will share my life story with absolutely anyone because it’s his glory. My survivorship is by God’s grace. So I will share again and again, anytime he calls me to.

Then today, during a meeting with a person I admire so much. A kind, compassionate individual that I coach who always returns the kindness by keeping me aligned asked me about my writing. We got on the topic about how I’d love to one day publish and how I write this blog. I started explaining to them why I started this and it all came around full circle. Those three items…

I started this blog because I was dying slowly and not a single person noticed. I was so depressed, I was in such a bad state and no one noticed. They assumed it was all normal because I was able to fake my smile and laugh.
I started this blog because the world around me ALWAYS seemed happier than I was, doing better than I was, with more of a purpose, etc. Everything around me made me feel like my existence was a waste of air. Like there was no reason for me in this world.
I started this blog because I wanted others to realize they aren’t alone in the life struggles. Some days are good, somedays are okay, somedays are rough and somedays are fucking awful. Straight up awful and sometimes with no explanation. Some days really just truly suck and nothing happened to make it suck, it just sucks.

I write these vulnerable posts for you, for all of you. So that on good days, you know someone is praying for you, celebrating with you and excited for you. On bad days you know that someone understands you, maybe not in the same exact way but in their own special hell kind of way. IN those awful days that you cannot seem to understand or explain, someone gets it. You are not alone but it can and does get better.

I write these to leave it all on “paper” so that the person who reads this knows that though you may be fooling the world with a fake smile, a perfected laugh and a put-together look… I “see” you, I understand you, and you are NOT alone. You CAN get through this. You ARE loved. You ARE seen. You ARE needed in this world & most importantly… YOU ARE WORTH THE AIR! Don’t be afraid to take up space.

I am grateful that I had these reminders that brought me back to the basics.
I am grateful I chose life, even when I saw no reason on the “Pro” side.
I am grateful for God’s grace, his love & forgiveness.
I am grateful for each of you.
I am grateful for words, even at the times they fail me.
I am grateful for this day above ground.

I am sending you SO SO much love ❤
Hang in there & Welcome to OUR Journey 2 Zen_Dipity… it’s not perfect destination that matters but the steps we take.

With all my Love,
-K

p.s. I am also entirely grateful for potatoes, Guac, Pepsi, my son, and a good comedy too cause Laughing is life. Not in said order. 🙂