Journey 2 Zendipity

I had a dream last night that I was giving a speech at church. The church part was new because I’m not a priestess but the speech dream is not so different. My job requires me to talk, A LOT, and in previous companies in this role, I’ve had to speak in front of large number of people.

Anyways, what was most interesting is what I was giving the speech about in my dream.

It was a mix and it was in my sleep so I’ll try my best to write it all correctly but hopefully the main points come across because it’s as kind of beautiful. I was impressed and proud of dream me, LOL.

Dream started by me going up the stage stairs in heels and realizing it was a foot higher than my nerves could handle. So I just as quickly said nope and started rushing right back down those stairs while praying out loud to not roll down the stairs on that live camera.
I had to start the conversation silly, because well it’s me and all I got is my authenticity but it went perfectly into the topic. Obedience, Discipline & Courage.

“ooh wee, the lights are bright, the cameras are on, the stage is giving me nerves that I don’t know what to do with and a lot of eyes on me. My knees are weak, my palms are sweaty, arms are heavy, almost have moms spaghetti on my sweater. hahah” LOL jk jk (for those that didn’t get it – twist to a movie quote). “Let me get back onto solid ground before I meet our maker this evening. As I tip toe rush back down just want to remind you all, this is church and judgement is frowned upon unless your name is Jesus”.

I make it to solid ground, let out an exhale of relief and look up.

“Good evening beautiful people. Thank you for having me here tonight, let me introduce myself.. My name is K and I have no fancy human title that gives explanation as to why I am here infant of you but my real title is real good. Y’all ready? I mean, it’s going to blow you all away, make you feel some type of way and maybe even get a few gasps and cheers.

“My name is K and I AM our Kings Daughter. Let me say that again, my name is K and I am our Kings Daughter. Do I have any siblings in the house?”

Luckily in my dream, they actually responded but you know, in person, I feel like some crickets would show up to the party or I’d have to ask them for a laugh track to survive that recording from that night. Then I proceed.

“I gotta tell y’all, I am nervous. This is the vulnerable raw truth. I am nervous to the point where my stomach did a belly flow within itself.
I am nervous that I will trip on these super cute heels because I can’t stand still. I am nervous that maybe I didn’t put on enough deodorant to protect me from these hot lights and that camera capture.. p.s. feel free to throw on a filter hah!,
I am nervous I didn’t pray hard enough for the words to come out clearly, I am nervous I am not even supposed to be up here and just wasting everyone’s time. I am nervous that the bad jokes that spill out of me when I’m nervous are worse than the nerves themselves.
I am also so very aware that I am using the word nervous, when really, that’s just the mask. Human truth is, the word nervous in my previous examples really mean I am feeling scared, I am feeling fearful (which is scared times like 3), I am feeling anxious, I am feeling self-conscious, I am overthinking and so out of my comfort zone right now. It means that I am ultimately an imperfect human. quick note, please take notice that I said I am FEELING these things, not that I am these things. We will touch on that later.
Point is that I am an imperfect human simply being obedient. Mostly because he wouldn’t let me sleep until I spoke these words. I’ll tell you what, he really knows how to get my attention.

Here is the thing though, being obedient doesn’t mean I get to wait until I am comfortable to BE obedient. Being obedient is following what I’m being asked to do by my Heavenly Father and trusting his authority and his reasons alone. Not my own understanding, or better yet, lack of understanding.

People who do courageous things aren’t courageous because they aren’t scared or because did something in their comfort zone. They are courageous because they did the act despite the very real human feelings involved. Despite the nerves, despite the fears, despite anything that they felt. They pushed through and they chose to do it anyways.. but here is the thing, Courage and bravery are courage and bravery BECAUSE of the feelings. Does that make sense? Like is it still courageous if it feels good? Is it still courageous to walk through fire to save someone’s life if it couldn’t hurt you and a big check was on the other side of that life being saved? Is it courageous to speak up about Jesus being king if it were easily accepted by everyone around you and people applauded each time? Not in my book.
Courage isn’t courage if there is no fear. Brave and courageous individuals feel all the same nerves but still choose to speak up, even when their voice is shaking and their knees are weak.

Back to obedience. What makes an obedient servant of the Lord, an obedient servant of the lord? Are they obedient servants just because they did what he asked of them while they were in the comfort of their home, scared of nothing, not scarifcing even the need of putting on real shoes to leave the house? No.
They are his faithful obedient children when they choose to follow through on what he, their Heavenly Father, have asked of them even when they didn’t feel like doing it or better yet, when they really didn’t understand it. You see, obedience is doing something whether you like it or not because you are asked to do it, hopefully, by someone in authority that you trust. His obedient child are his obedient children because they listen and do before they get the clarity of the why and sometimes even the how. Heck, sometimes all you get is one step at a time with little to no visibility of the next step. Just standing there like Mr. Bean waiting on the light. OK lord, I’m ready, what’s up?

here is something I didn’t mention in both of those.. both of these have a secret ingredient.
Discipline.

ohhh, I know I bout dropped when I first got that realization. I’ll give y’all a second to get yourselves together again.

Discipline!!! Discipline time and time again has proven to be the secret ingredient!

you see, we already know we need to trust God, lean on God, love God, do things for his Glory but the putting it into action.. well that’s the hard part, right? It doesn’t mean that it will always be hard, there are beautiful times where the father wants me to rest and his words simply says to go eat and rest. yes.. sir. Yet, that too requires discipline.

To be courageous in God’s name, requires discipline.
To be an obedient child of God, requires discipline.
Heck, to be successful in life, whatever success means to YOU, you must be obedient.

because we are humans and in no scenario that requires courage or obedience does motivation remain at a 100. Discipline needs to kick in. What’s beautiful about this though its a pattern.

You are super motivated, get started and start seeing small results, then you slow down because of little to no instant gratification.. mhm I said what I said but if you remain discipline, you keep pushing, keep going then you see either some kind of results which then motivate you and cycle begins again.

You are human. That is a wonderful thing, you were created imperfectly human. His greatest creation, unless you are obsessed with Dogs then we are his second greatest creations because I mean.. fur babies.

To be courageous and obedient, you must be disciplined in your relationship with God. In your consistency in prayers, meditation and being in the word. In my opinion, it all goes hand in hand.

To be a faithful servant of God requires courage, to follow through despite your fears, obedience to follow through inspire your fears and discipline to keep you going through both. Being his faithful servant requires trust in his authority, his understanding and his reasons on your maybe not-so-clear journey.

Remain disciplined. Lean on your tribe, on your community, on your siblings in Christ. Lean on him and remember that you may fall 7 times but you still get up that 8th because you know he already scrapped off your knees, kissed your boo boo’s. and is awaiting for your love through your obedience, courage.. your love and trust.

Thank you for your time. I hope I was not too long and I pray that each of you got something out of today even if it’s simply that being human is beautiful, not perfect just remain disciplined.”