Journey 2 Zendipity

Dear Past,

Somedays I think of you and get lost in memories of you.
Other days, you don’t even cross my mind.
Yet no matter which of the days it is, we are always connected.

You hold so much pain and torment. I wish I could just leave you where you belong, in my history, forever gone like past days, but somehow you manage to seep into my present and future.

You are there in every decision and every move I make.
Right there in every fear that I hold and every insecurity that I face daily.

I’m either making a choice to avoid repeating you or making a choice to feel you again.
I’m either making a choice to not be those insecurities.

Either way, you are at the center of my every decision and hold my hand as I take steps toward the Future. Somedays you guide me with your darkness and other times you guide me with your light. It’s always you.

One day I am going to marry my Future while I live divinely in the Present and you will be just fond memories or nothing more than the stepping stones up that aisle.
One day you will be just entries in a journal that’s tucked at the back of my closet.
One day I will no longer be hand in hand with you but gracefully loving you from afar, whispering thank you’s for the person I’ve become.

You will always be a part of me, you raised me, you taught me, you helped me, you hurt me, you torment me, but you also bring me so much love and peace through the deepness you bring me. You are at the center of this journey, you are forever going to be my greatest teacher.
You are forever going to live with me, within me.

Today, I just want to thank you, not hate you, not love you.. just be grateful for you.
Today, I am going to send you off with love and appreciation as I refocus and realign with what matters most. Thanks to you, my Present and my Future finally hold my heart.

I will continue to pray for our healing as we take these steps and you will continue to be with me as I make strides into the bright Future waiting for us at the end of the aisle.

Thank you, for you are the reason I owe it all too.

With all my gratitude,
-K